How Seasickness brought me Closer to God

men, Real men. Especially as a ‘man of the seas’ men generally tend to think of themselves as invincible, not taken easily by the turbulence of life of the whims and trends of every thing that ails, blocks, or otherwise causes us to stumble. And even for the Christian, feelings of, we’ll call it, “supermanliness” can creep into our subconscious and begin to take root. It’s often not til the root takes stem, leave and bud that we notice it, and I will admit to coming face to face with the thistle of my own “supermanliness,” which ultimately becomes, less reliance on our jehovah Jireh, our Provider, and more on our own. For me, the transaction was not so much a “one day I’m leaning on God as my support, and the next day I’ve tried walking on my own.”  But more like a patient of some terminal disease that decided he didn’t need all the pills to keeps his heart beating, I slowly cut out a feel vital aspects of my Spiritual life, determined that i couldn’t possibly need God in every single breath I took, or step I made.

I don’t know if many, or any, of you have experienced seasickness, or motion sickness of any kind, but it’s not pretty. It’s not like a normal illness, one you sleep off, or vomit and feel better afterward. there are pills, but I’ll get to that later. The point I want to make is this; no matter how strong physically you are, no matter how many times you tell yourself you can make it through, seasickness has a way of bringing people to their knees like no other ailment I know of. (Well, of course the terminal ones, but that’s not the point I’m making) I’m not talking about physically doubling over, retching and taking a few timid steps towards the near thing that’s not shifting from side to side. I’m not talking about the waves of drowsiness that overcome you after you’ve popped a few of the seasick pills.  I’m talking about having to admit that you’re not strong enough to make it through the day. For me, that’s been one of my hugest pride issues, having to admit defeat, having to throw in the towel of ‘Me’ and saying ‘ok, fine, so i can’t do this.’ I’ve had to say it to several things in my life, some have been big issues, like a friendship that I’ve seen die and realized it wasn’t beneficial to my Spiritual growth. But it was seasickness that really crumpled me.

I’ve always thought of myself as a healthy person, not prone to many illnesses, but because i was stricken with seasickness I guess I’m not immune to all types of illnesses. As I crawled into my bed to relieve myself of the dizziness, I realized I had gone 24 hours without proper food (Let me restated, food that stayed in my stomach) But it had been even longer since I had had a solid Spiritual meal. If you tried to get through life by having a big meal every Sunday (if you managed to wake up for it and felt like it fit into your schedule) and then had snacks maybe every other morning you’d be hungry, pretty hungry and most likely weak. You wouldn’t be prepared for anything that required any sort of energy. Now, think of the Spiritual life, for ‘Man does not live by bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.’ This passage from Duet. 8:3 and repeated by Jesus in the desert (Luke 4:4) shows how vital our spiritual food is. Jesus later says that ‘My food is to do the will of Him who sent me.’ (John 4:34)

the bible is full of references showing our dependence on God, and instead of me just giving you a list of verses to look up, it would delight me to no end to have you open up the bible on your shelf and find out for yourselves how much you need God, for eternity and for every day on earth.

You open up Your arms and give me a new start
I need You, I need You more than my next breath
I know that I am loved, cuz You bought me with Your blood
I need You, I need You more than my next breath yeah

My Next breath, by Hawk Nelson, i think it sums up my idea pretty neatly.

Until next time, your brother in Christ, serving on the Logos Hope, sailing for Singapore

Luke.

God’s Ship, God’s Crew

I realized something as I blogged in my other blog, the one i classify as separate from this one simply because in the craziness of life I find it nice to step back and focus on my real reason for blogging, for living and for my whole existence.  I’ve been on the Logos Hope  for almost 2 months now and God has just done so much in my life. I work in the engine room, the less than glamorous, underground job. The work strangle hours, see very few people and get covered in dirt job. But i love it. I love it not only because i love working, or the people, or the skills i’m picking up, but because i’m really trying to take to heart the verses ‘Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man.’  (Col. 3:23) I see so many people I work with who are working with no joy, no enthusiasm and no drive. I also see people so consumed with their job it becomes their purpose for being here; they forsake friends, devotions and community to strive to be the best in their job.  it is sad to see people so lost from their calling. We were all created in and for the glory of God, so to see people forgetting that, it wretches my heart. I see a lot of complacency and situation-based happiness; if their daily schedule was bumped around in one way or another their pasted on smile would lose its position and twist into a snarl. I’m not showing the ship in a very positive light, so i would like to reverse my course for awhile, because there are so many good Christians on board as well. People who will be counted faithful, who will get to hear our Lord and saviour say ‘well done my good and faithful servant, welcome home’ when the day comes. One thing i found so profound, so different than the workforce I’ve been used to is the issue of faults and blame. last month in the middle of the night myself and several other watchkeepers got a phone call to our cabins saying that we were needed to help clean up an oil spill in the engine room. Flinging ourselves out of bed and rushing to don our overalls and steel-toe boots we were underneath the floor plates with rags soaking up oil within minutes. We were so excited to be doing work, instead of the classroom training we had been doing for the past few weeks, that was the first realization; people excited to be at work. The second thing was after that night and we had all regained our sleep, we gathered for morning devotions and one of the engineers stood up and apologized for the error that caused the spill. Apologizing. Accepting blame. From a superior. I have never witnessed that before, a person in a leadership position willing taking the fall. At my last job at a certain coffee shop I always felt like the blame fell on me since i was the newest, the least experienced and the most likely to make an error. What a way to show Christ to people, to be honest about your mistakes, a trait that seems so scarce these days. It is my hope and prayer that the members of the ship, and Christians everywhere will become transparent, be able to open up about their sins, faults and errors and to be able to have the humility to say “sorry, i was wrong, please forgive me.” Myself included.

I've heard it said a million times
That I should hold on tight to Jesus
But I took this road so far from home
And distance came between us

When I walked away, I knew one day
I'd need Your grace

So now You'll find me on my knees
Surrendering
‘Cause I know that I'm really not so strong
And now, I'm done fighting for control
Oh, You can have this life
That I've been holding for so long
I'm learning to fall
Let my world crumble

You ran so fast to rescue me
While I was barely breathing
You picked me up, You touched my face
And I began to see more clearly

Though I'm such a disgrace, You still forgave
Your love remains

Take me as an offering
I surrender everything
No more living without You
"Learning to Fall" This Beautiful Republic